"NO" IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE

The phone rang again, and again she needed a ride. This was the third time in less than a week and that “little voice within,” flashed “CAUTION”. I took a deep breath and gave an excuse as to why I couldn’t be of help this time. But as I hung up, I was consumed by guilt. “She doesn’t have a car”, Guilt yelled. One day you may need a ride too.”

“Don’t listen to Guilt,” Little Voice Within said. “You can see a pattern of behaviour developing here. She doesn’t always need to call you. There is the bus or she can take a taxi. You have got to stop trying to please people, at your own expense.”

I thought about what Little Voice Within had told me. It was right. I could see a pattern forming; one that I was allowing. And I recalled the times we had gone shopping for, “Just bread and milk”, and it had turned into a major grocery shopping trip, taking up time that I needed to spend elsewhere. One stop invariably turned into two or more.

But really, whose fault was that? After pushing Guilt aside, I took a deep breath and admitted that I was responsible for the situation. I hadn’t drawn boundaries because I had been conditioned to put others needs before my own. Also, as a child, I believed that I had to always be nice and agreeable or I wouldn’t have friends. Now as an adult I consciously knew better, but subconsciously I feared conflict and the possibility of being disliked if I didn’t put others desires first.

There are three things that I have come to realize:

1/ Listen to your intuition (The Little Voice Within)

2/ If you reach out a hand with a sense of joy, do it. But if you are helping someone begrudgingly, don’t bother. There will be no joy in it for you or for the one you are helping. They will pick up on your vibes, even if they don’t consciously know why you seem “out of sorts”.

3/ You are responsible for reducing and controlling your own stress. Your “gauges” are within. You are the one who can read them. You alone are in control.

4/ "NO" is a complete sentence!  There is no need to justify your answer, although when you begin to say no, AGAIN, you will feel that there is. I say AGAIN, because NO is one of the first words used by human babies. They learn early to say NO to what they don’t like or don’t want to do. This is something that many of us have to relearn.

This quote says it all:

Maya Angelou-- "I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw some things back. Saying NO is one of the best ways that a woman can take care of herself. While you may feel that saying no is selfish, it really is about taking extraordinary care of yourself. If you are not taking care of yourself, then you just don't have it to give to others. You can't water a garden with an empty bucket!”

There is real power in saying NO! Be good to yourself. Learn to say it again.

Many blessings!

LISTENING TO YOUR INTUITION

My elderly neighbor marvelled at the splendor of  fall colors, pointing out leaves of trees and bushes that were turning red. I smiled at the glee she displayed and asked her, "Would you like to go to the park, by the river? It should be lovely this time of year."  She said that she would.

As we drove down the hill and turned in to the park, I could see how deserted it was; not a human or animal in sight. We pulled into the parking lot on the far end, got out, locked our purses in the car's trunk and walked towards the river. I noticed that the bushes had grown considerably since the last time I'd visited. The "beach", once quite open, was now blocked, its only access being a narrow path between overgrown brush. I looked towards the path and noticed a truck backed in against the bushes. It had a topper covering its box, with the back open. Someone must be out for a stroll, I thought, but felt a sudden unease. Taking a closer look at the vehicle, I noticed an out-of-province license plate and when I looked up I saw a man, sitting inside staring at us.

"Perhaps it's unwise for us to go down that narrow path," I said, hoping to lead my friend another direction, without startling her. "Let's walk over this way." She nodded. But a change of direction didn't abate my unease. Within  moments, I said, "I think we should leave." She surprised me by agreeing.

We retrieved our purses, and as we climbed into the car, my neighbour said, "Well that's odd. Look there are three trucks coming in, one following the other. What's the sudden attraction at this time of year?"

As we drove up the hill, she said, "I'm really glad we're leaving. I felt such pressure in my chest as we came in here. I didn't want to say anything but something didn't feel right."

I squeezed her hand. "I felt uneasy too," I confessed. "I don't know why but I sense it's a good thing we don't stay."

"When you get that feeling, don't say no, just go!" she said, nodding firmly.

Later I thought of what we had both experienced. If it had been my experience alone, I may have attributed it to an overactive imagination and dismissed it. But we had both felt the unease; the need to remove ourselves from what made us uncomfortable. It would be fruitless to guess what was taking place in the park. All would be pure conjecture. We did both, however, listen to our intuition.

So what exactly is intuition? Where does it come from? And is there a way that it can be enhanced?

The dictionary defines intuition as: the power of knowing or understanding something immediately without reasoning or being taught.

Intuition is an ability that we are all born with but many of us do not listen to. Some people have good intuition because, like a muscle, they have "exercised" it. And like a muscle, there are certain exercises that will enhance it.

l/  When the phone rings, try to guess who's calling before you answer it. Go with the first name that pops     into your head.

2/ When you're waiting for the elevator, try to guess which door will open first.

3/ Place cards from a deck of playing cards face down on a table. Try to guess what they are.

Be aware of any sensations in your body as you look at each elevator door or card. Do you feel anything...a tingling perhaps, when your eyes light on one, that you don't feel looking at the others?

4/ When in a shopping mall, watch the facial expressions and body language of your fellow shoppers. Are they enjoying their day? Or are they tired, crabby and rushed? Be aware of how your surroundings make you feel. Are you filled with energy in some areas but do you feel drained in others? How, in your body, is that sensed?

Take a few minutes each day to build your intuition muscle and soon you will discover a whole new sense that has lain dormant within you. You'll be on the road to endless discoveries.

Enjoy!